I got a bit of a surprise on Christmas morning when my wife told me, "I've got tickets for you and Dean to go to a concert in Newcastle." - Dean is my brother-in-law. "Great. Who are we going to see?" "Morrissey!" Me, confused: "Morrissey?" "You do like him, don't you?" All of my life I've listened to punk, thrash metal and goth. But I have got a Smiths album somewhere, and once had a girlfriend who had a poster of Morrissey on her bedroom ceiling. Does that count? "Erm... yeah. Love him. Great." I met up with Dean a few days later. "Here, was this your idea? Morrissey?" He gave me the same confused look. "Morrissey? I think I've got a Smiths album somewhere." It soon became clear that the present was more the night out than the actual gig, but I wanted to get the most out of it so I started out on a diet of nothing but Morrissey for the next few weeks. Every time I got i...